coping

How the Abstinence Violation Effect Affects Recovery

Bryan Vasquez, CATC III, Certified Addiction CounselorLeave a comment

Have you ever made a determination to start a new habit and have you been able to stay 100% dedicated to it through the remainder of your life? (insert cricket sound…) Of course, if you are reading this then you are still living and cannot confirm nor deny the attainment of this goal. If you are like most people, you set a goal to establish some new behavior which can be performed consistently and probably have sometimes where you fall short of your idealized expectations. Perhaps you said you would start waking up an hour earlier so you can exercise, or you’ve sworn off some specific type of food, only to find yourself having periodic success.

This is all a normal part of the change process. Setting a goal, taking steps to achieve it, and at times falling short. For those struggling with some form of addiction, this is a very relatable topic. Making a commitment to stop drinking only to find yourself days, weeks, months or years down the road ingesting alcohol. If you can relate with this, I’d like you to think of a time when you deviated from your goal to abstain and what your mind told you the moment you veered off that path. Did it say something to the effect of “Well, you’ve had one so you might as well drink the rest of the 6 pack…” or “I knew I couldn’t do this, afterall I am an alcoholic and I always screw things up and get drunk”, or even “I slipped yesterday so I am only at day one so I might as well keep going and I can start again tomorrow”. This type of thinking is a prime example of the Abstinence Violation Effect, or AVE.

The Abstinence Violation Effect is when there is any deviation from a desired behavior goal and this deviation is viewed as a total failure. This viewpoint that the deviation is a total failure is then used as a further justification to continue using or doing the addictive behavior. I have had clients that expressed after having one sip of a drink, they felt so badly and shameful for failing that this was the permission giving thought that getting drunk wouldn’t be any worse. After 5 years of sobriety, someone had a glass of champagne at a wedding and then felt that they had wasted their 5 years of sobriety and would have to start over anyway, so they ended up going on a binge for the next 18 months for fear of having to “start over”.

While this phenomenon is common with all types of people, it is often seen the most in those who put a strong emphasis on total consecutive days sober, as opposed to cumulative days sober. If you’ve struggled with an addiction, imagine the most acute period when you were struggling, and then imagine if someone told you that you would have 5 years sober, with only a glass of champagne, or one use of your addiction over the course of those 5 years.  Would you see that as a victory, or would you focus on the fact that you had one day out of 1,825 days where you engaged in your addiction and therefore failed?

It is suggested to work on staying in the moment and not beating yourself up for deviating from the path of your desired goal. Just like your phone navigation system will autocorrect when you drive off the assigned path, so too can you make a course correction if you fall back into an old behavior pattern, however short or long in duration. One sip is better than one beer, one beer is better than dusting off the whole 12 pack and so on. We need not use one slip to justify continued slips. An old quote I enjoy: Start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can!

Coping with Uncertainty

Bryan Vasquez, CATC III, Certified Addiction CounselorLeave a comment
Coping with Uncertainty realize recovery

Living in a world filled with uncertainty can be stressful. Most of us feel our best when we are in a routine; when our routine is uprooted, we feel anxiety and stress. The world at large has recently been “un-routinized” due to the spread of coronavirus. Research shows that people respond to uncertainty differently and those with a higher tolerance for uncertainty are less likely to experience anxiety, low mood, and negative thoughts and feelings. Here are some suggestions for coping with uncertainty and changes in daily routine.

  • Focus on what you can control:  As much as possible, avoid dwelling on things out of your control. While you cannot control the governmental regulations and policies, you can control how much time, energy and attention you put on these matters. Try putting your attention on what you can do to improve yourself, uplift friends and family, and your community. Begin a new daily routine and do your best to stick to it.
  • Remember past successes:  No good or bad thing lasts forever. Reflect on times in your life when adversity came and how you were able to overcome. When fear and anxiety begin to manifest, redirect your attention and remind yourself that you’ve coped with adversity in the past and can do the same now.
  • Stay Productive:  Our minds can only focus on one thing at a time, so by engaging in activities, we can find a reprieve from intruding negative thoughts. With coronavirus quarantines, think about light projects around the house that have been put off in the past and begin working to accomplish those. Watch home workout videos on YouTube and engage in physical exercise at home. This will improve your immune system, release endorphins and help improve sleep.
  • Minimize exposure to news and social media:  When we feel stressed about something, we want answers and information. Constantly checking the news or social media outlets for updates will only increase your sense of uncertainty. Try limiting your exposure and plan one or two times throughout the day to check for updates. It is especially important to avoid news outlets before bedtime.
  • Engage in consistent self-care:  During times of uncertainty, we often forget to take a moment and do something enjoyable for ourselves. During quarantine, consider taking a relaxing bath, sleeping in, take an afternoon nap, order delivery food and watch a movie, ask for a massage from a significant other, etc. However you choose to practice self-care, the important thing to remember is that the activity should be something safe and enjoyable for you.
  • Practice relaxation and mindfulness techniques:  When we are anxious and stressed, we are kick-starting our fight-or-flight response, which sends a cascade of hormones into our system. This response is designed to increase our heart rate, alter blood flow, and decrease activation of our brain’s frontal lobes, where our higher, rational decision-making happens. There are apps you can download, such as Headspace, and plenty of guided exercises on YouTube. 
  • Seek Professional Help:  Despite following these suggestions you may find a heavy burden still exists. Working with a counselor can help you find individual ways to better cope with stress, uncertainty and how to develop a healthy routine.

While we cannot avoid the unexpected, by building our stress tolerance, we can better cope with uncertainty.